I am sitting watching through the window reading my friends blog. If you get a chance go to the bottom of my blog click on remembering stephen, it makes you feel her hurt and loss and how lucky I am to have connor here with me and we may need to face many hurdles and surgeries but he is here with me to love and hold.
I get my sad days when I think why me, why this, why,why and then I read about her days of loss and sadness and I know I am blessed to have him. I have been told god picked me to have this sweet little boy because he knew I could handle and be the best mommy for him. I just have my bad days I think the worse and not the best of thoughts. I know I need to be positive but I don't want to go back and watch connor hurt and see him go down the hall way to surgery not knowing whats happening not holding him and making it okay.......then I read jess's blog!!! I am just feeling sorry for myself and to get over it. Its just a bad day tomorrow will be better there is always tomorrow ..............but today I will cry and hold him tight and pray with all my heart please let everthing be alright.
I caught jossy brushing connors hair like it or not she was set on making him look good, he just layed there and smiled while she brushed holding on to his frog for comfort .....Its moments like this that makes life worth while.
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