Love of my Life

Love of my Life

Heart Mother

One day my world came crashing down,I'll never be the same.They told me that my child was sick.I thought, "am I to blame"?I don't think I can handle this.I am really not that strong.It seemed my heart was breaking.I have loved him for so long.I will not give up on this child.I will listen to your advice.I will give my child any chance.No matter what the price.I will learn all that I need to help my child thrive.I'll even use that feeding tube.My child must survive!Will he need a lot of therapy?Will he gain the needed weight?Please God, help me do this.I will accept our fate.When the monitors beep at night, it serves as my reminder.How many parents would love that sound.Tomorrow I will be kinder.As another Angel earns his wings,I run to my child's bed.I watch him sleep for quite a while.I bend down and kiss his head.I cry for the parents whose hearts have been broken.I look to You wondering why?Oh Lord, I just can't know your matter how I try.And yet, I trust you hold his life, and guide us through each day.My mind says savor each moment he's here,but my heart begs, "PLEASE let him stay"!From pacing the surgical waiting room, to sitting by his bed.From wishing for a good nights sleep, to learning every med.From wondering, "will he be alright?", to watching him reach out his hands.With every smile my heart just melts, despite life's harsh demands.For all who see that faded line.I look to them and smile.You see my child is loved so much.I would face ANY trial.That scar I trace with my finger (It's the door to his beautiful heart).God must have known how much I'd love him (Just as He loved him from the start).A heart mom is always a heart mom.Now wise beyond her years.For those who have angels in heaven,Our hearts share in all of your tears.Every day I will try and remember,I was chosen for him (and no other).I will always embrace that beautiful day.......When I became a "Heart Mother"

Friday, March 5, 2010

Snow snow and more snow we need spring!!!!

Connor is such a sweet boy he coos and smiles more and more each day.

I had to make a hard decision today to go back to work in April or risk the chance of loosing my job and where I am based and my part time hours, I just cant leave him for work I don't want to miss a moment and would never forgive myself if I did. My fate is in Gods hands and that bridge I will cross when the time is right Sky west told me they will not protect my job after 13 years of putting my family second I will stand up and put them first today.......Wish me luck and pray for my baby

Also I have been doing a lot of reading searching and so on and found out sometimes babies with HRHS can be put on a transplant list so he can just have that done instead of all the surgeries I will talk to Dr. Williams to see what we can do.

If I have not told my sisters enough Thank you for being my sisters and doing all you do, even when I am hard to deal with. I am so glad you all are there for me and wouldnt be strong without you Love Love Love you all :)

special thanks to brenda no matter what no matter when you always are there for Connor and me I love you more then I can ever say

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