Love of my Life

Love of my Life

Heart Mother

One day my world came crashing down,I'll never be the same.They told me that my child was sick.I thought, "am I to blame"?I don't think I can handle this.I am really not that strong.It seemed my heart was breaking.I have loved him for so long.I will not give up on this child.I will listen to your advice.I will give my child any chance.No matter what the price.I will learn all that I need to help my child thrive.I'll even use that feeding tube.My child must survive!Will he need a lot of therapy?Will he gain the needed weight?Please God, help me do this.I will accept our fate.When the monitors beep at night, it serves as my reminder.How many parents would love that sound.Tomorrow I will be kinder.As another Angel earns his wings,I run to my child's bed.I watch him sleep for quite a while.I bend down and kiss his head.I cry for the parents whose hearts have been broken.I look to You wondering why?Oh Lord, I just can't know your matter how I try.And yet, I trust you hold his life, and guide us through each day.My mind says savor each moment he's here,but my heart begs, "PLEASE let him stay"!From pacing the surgical waiting room, to sitting by his bed.From wishing for a good nights sleep, to learning every med.From wondering, "will he be alright?", to watching him reach out his hands.With every smile my heart just melts, despite life's harsh demands.For all who see that faded line.I look to them and smile.You see my child is loved so much.I would face ANY trial.That scar I trace with my finger (It's the door to his beautiful heart).God must have known how much I'd love him (Just as He loved him from the start).A heart mom is always a heart mom.Now wise beyond her years.For those who have angels in heaven,Our hearts share in all of your tears.Every day I will try and remember,I was chosen for him (and no other).I will always embrace that beautiful day.......When I became a "Heart Mother"

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Murphys law

As soon as I wrote that I needed a project my little connor started fussy and then jossy started it is murphys law I guess my over achiving days are done, I started laughing I have connor screaming and jossy taking every toy she owns out and I am thinking what did I write!!!!

I am here alone well even when I am not I am alone here taking on the kiddos and I want a project I must be mad!

Here is my night and day:

I get maybe a few hours of sleep each night Conner likes to party like a rock star!!!

I get up clean up after whittney making her morning rounds through the house getting ready for school.

Put cartoons on for Connor ( which he likes ???) And start the cleaning up of the day washer, throw in the batch for laundry and then make eggs for joss

If I am lucky I get to go to the gym for an hour then its  back home to clean up the mess while I was gone and bath the kids for the day

Water the flowers weed the flower beds and water the new lawn we put in to cover the dead tree that we lost this winter.

Rest of the day  I spend alone taking care of Connor, Joss and Whittney.

Make lunch,,,,,,,do the dishes

I do about 4 batches of laundry put it all away

Make dinner do the dishes and then get the kiddos to bed

Thats my life

Dont get me wrong I am so happy to have my kiddos It gets old doing it alone......sometimes I wish golf and raquet ball didnt exist.

O......its time to make dinner

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