Love of my Life

Love of my Life

Heart Mother

One day my world came crashing down,I'll never be the same.They told me that my child was sick.I thought, "am I to blame"?I don't think I can handle this.I am really not that strong.It seemed my heart was breaking.I have loved him for so long.I will not give up on this child.I will listen to your advice.I will give my child any chance.No matter what the price.I will learn all that I need to help my child thrive.I'll even use that feeding tube.My child must survive!Will he need a lot of therapy?Will he gain the needed weight?Please God, help me do this.I will accept our fate.When the monitors beep at night, it serves as my reminder.How many parents would love that sound.Tomorrow I will be kinder.As another Angel earns his wings,I run to my child's bed.I watch him sleep for quite a while.I bend down and kiss his head.I cry for the parents whose hearts have been broken.I look to You wondering why?Oh Lord, I just can't know your matter how I try.And yet, I trust you hold his life, and guide us through each day.My mind says savor each moment he's here,but my heart begs, "PLEASE let him stay"!From pacing the surgical waiting room, to sitting by his bed.From wishing for a good nights sleep, to learning every med.From wondering, "will he be alright?", to watching him reach out his hands.With every smile my heart just melts, despite life's harsh demands.For all who see that faded line.I look to them and smile.You see my child is loved so much.I would face ANY trial.That scar I trace with my finger (It's the door to his beautiful heart).God must have known how much I'd love him (Just as He loved him from the start).A heart mom is always a heart mom.Now wise beyond her years.For those who have angels in heaven,Our hearts share in all of your tears.Every day I will try and remember,I was chosen for him (and no other).I will always embrace that beautiful day.......When I became a "Heart Mother"

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Lovely day at the Fair

We spent the day at the Utah State Fair and boy was it hot....................I guess I didn't think how hot it would be or we would of gone later in the day and when it did cool down so many came to the fair I could not handle that many people around Connor so we left..............I guess I just dont like to take him out I am always up in arms when I take him to do somethings and I want the kids to have fun but not get sick :)

The joy of the day was the horse ride for Jossy .............................I thought since she hated all the rides at Lagoon No Way were we getting her on the horse. My dad took her over to look and she told him that she wanted that one and that was that. They put her on the horse and she LOVED it

It was so much fun to be with my family. While I was growing up we always took time to do family things, Fairs, trips etc and I don't know how my mom and dad did it but no matter what we had some really memorable times and I want my kids to have that too.

Connor Loved the Pigs and the Cows the he feel asleep under a tree. He is such an easy going boy no fuss just goes with the flow and just takes everything in

All and all it was a fun day but next time we are going during the week and late into the evening :)

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