Love of my Life

Love of my Life

Heart Mother

One day my world came crashing down,I'll never be the same.They told me that my child was sick.I thought, "am I to blame"?I don't think I can handle this.I am really not that strong.It seemed my heart was breaking.I have loved him for so long.I will not give up on this child.I will listen to your advice.I will give my child any chance.No matter what the price.I will learn all that I need to help my child thrive.I'll even use that feeding tube.My child must survive!Will he need a lot of therapy?Will he gain the needed weight?Please God, help me do this.I will accept our fate.When the monitors beep at night, it serves as my reminder.How many parents would love that sound.Tomorrow I will be kinder.As another Angel earns his wings,I run to my child's bed.I watch him sleep for quite a while.I bend down and kiss his head.I cry for the parents whose hearts have been broken.I look to You wondering why?Oh Lord, I just can't know your ways....no matter how I try.And yet, I trust you hold his life, and guide us through each day.My mind says savor each moment he's here,but my heart begs, "PLEASE let him stay"!From pacing the surgical waiting room, to sitting by his bed.From wishing for a good nights sleep, to learning every med.From wondering, "will he be alright?", to watching him reach out his hands.With every smile my heart just melts, despite life's harsh demands.For all who see that faded line.I look to them and smile.You see my child is loved so much.I would face ANY trial.That scar I trace with my finger (It's the door to his beautiful heart).God must have known how much I'd love him (Just as He loved him from the start).A heart mom is always a heart mom.Now wise beyond her years.For those who have angels in heaven,Our hearts share in all of your tears.Every day I will try and remember,I was chosen for him (and no other).I will always embrace that beautiful day.......When I became a "Heart Mother"

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Valentines Day filled with Love





We really had a valentines weekend starting on Saturday.....Since Shane had to work on the real valentines day We had a chance to go to a valentines dinner and dancing. The fun part was that it was formal attire. 

On Saturday we had a fun time at the dinner it was Little bit different then what we thought since our formal attire is allot different then what Preston city's formal attire is but the food was good and we got to dance to our song so who cares.....

Sunday we had our valentines breakfast since Monday all had to go to school and Shane was off to work so crepes with raspberries yum my favorite breakfast, we also gave the kids their gifts early so they could enjoy them and Shane wanted to be there with them, 

Connor we gave him a special blanket that we call a softies it is made of the silky material and it feels like heaven to be wrapped in it ( Okay when the kids are asleep I borrow their blankets and take a nap with the softies :) our special friend made them for my kids this year and I owe her the world, Connor saw his blanket and grabbed it and put his face in it and just sat there it was the cutest thing, You see when Josslyn was a baby my friend made her one so Connor and Josey fight over the softies all the time. So this time he  took the blanket and would not let it go, It is so nice not to have to hear the screams because Connor stole Josey's blanket again :)

Josey we gave her a suit case with Tinkerbell on it. Someday we will travel again and she is the only one with out a real suit case. She loved it she told her dad that she was going with him since she now had her own suit case and proceeded to into her room to pack. 

Whittney received her softies that she has asked for the last year. It is such a beautiful blanket just the right size to fit twin bed. She has wrapped herself in it everyday since and will not let anyone touch it. 


Shane I gave him the one thing in this world that he does not have a i phone and he was so shocked to see that I was able to get my hands on one since Verizon sold out in two hours online . Yes I stayed up half the night to order the stupid phone but it was worth it when I saw Shane's face light up, Just like a kid at Christmas.

On Monday we headed down to salt lake and dropped my kids off at my sisters house and then we went to the Paul Cardall Concert. 

What can I say it was amazing, It brought a lot of emotions since while I sat by Connor at primary children's I always played music which included songs from Paul Cardall. 

I ran into my friend Amy, She is Annie's mom. We met at Primary Children's. She looked beautiful and it was so nice to give her hug. Annie never made it home and the last time I saw both of them I gave her a outfit for her, Amy told me now that outfit is on a doll, my heart still hurts for her. Annie is always in my heart and it was so nice to see Amy once more.

For the silent auction I bid on this Darling necklace but at the last minute was out bid. My best friend also came with us and she bid on this cute basket of princess items, she won her item 

The night was so up lifting and full of hope the foundation that Paul Cardall has started is amazing and he is truly a inspiration to me. To see that he went 36 years before he had to have his transplant just think in 36 years what the medical advances that could be made for my little Connor.

I am so glade that I made it to the concert it was a lot of work, but I will be there next year and every year to come.

1 comment:

Annie-Staten said...

After seeing your pics that you posted, I realized that I saw you but didn't know it was you! Dang! :(
I ran into Amy as well (the last time I saw her was at Annie's funeral)and I of course I couldn't do anything but start crying when I saw her! I gave her a big hug and was so happy to see her and her husband. They are both so amazing!
I'm so bummed I didn't get to say hi to you! Maybe at another heart event I will get to meet you and talk to you! :)You looked gorgeous that night...I remember passing by you (not realizing it was you) and thinking "Wow, she is beautiful!"