Love of my Life

Love of my Life

Heart Mother

One day my world came crashing down,I'll never be the same.They told me that my child was sick.I thought, "am I to blame"?I don't think I can handle this.I am really not that strong.It seemed my heart was breaking.I have loved him for so long.I will not give up on this child.I will listen to your advice.I will give my child any chance.No matter what the price.I will learn all that I need to help my child thrive.I'll even use that feeding tube.My child must survive!Will he need a lot of therapy?Will he gain the needed weight?Please God, help me do this.I will accept our fate.When the monitors beep at night, it serves as my reminder.How many parents would love that sound.Tomorrow I will be kinder.As another Angel earns his wings,I run to my child's bed.I watch him sleep for quite a while.I bend down and kiss his head.I cry for the parents whose hearts have been broken.I look to You wondering why?Oh Lord, I just can't know your matter how I try.And yet, I trust you hold his life, and guide us through each day.My mind says savor each moment he's here,but my heart begs, "PLEASE let him stay"!From pacing the surgical waiting room, to sitting by his bed.From wishing for a good nights sleep, to learning every med.From wondering, "will he be alright?", to watching him reach out his hands.With every smile my heart just melts, despite life's harsh demands.For all who see that faded line.I look to them and smile.You see my child is loved so much.I would face ANY trial.That scar I trace with my finger (It's the door to his beautiful heart).God must have known how much I'd love him (Just as He loved him from the start).A heart mom is always a heart mom.Now wise beyond her years.For those who have angels in heaven,Our hearts share in all of your tears.Every day I will try and remember,I was chosen for him (and no other).I will always embrace that beautiful day.......When I became a "Heart Mother"

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Made my Day

I went back to work after three weeks off taking care of the babes and it was nice to have a break but once I returned I asked myself " I leave at 6pm home at 10am the next day WTH happens when I am gone"

I'll get back to that later but work was work nothing great but it pays the bills

When I was off I headed up to primary childrens to see Kylie bug and give her a birthday surprise. I had gotten her a american girls doll that looks just like her. Every little girls needs a american girl doll !!!!

I am so happy that I got the chance to sneak away and  see Crissie and Kylie she is so so adorable it breaks my heart that she is so so sick and I love that she just sits in bed plays puts on lipstick shows me her nails that her mom had painted for her and just is a 3 year old.

Crissie said they get to go home the next day and that they had placed her on the heart transplant list and are just waiting to see when it will be her day to get her new heart

What a brave little girl I wish that she can go as long as possible with out the transplant and when it comes time that there will be a heart ready to go for her, Crissie has had so much happen that it has to get better for her I wish I won the lottery so I could help everyone so we could just enjoy our babies instead of worring about all the bills and life that gets handed to us when our lives change forever

Sending my love to you kylie cant wait until we can all have a play date and you are out of the home on the HILL.

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