Love of my Life

Love of my Life

Heart Mother

One day my world came crashing down,I'll never be the same.They told me that my child was sick.I thought, "am I to blame"?I don't think I can handle this.I am really not that strong.It seemed my heart was breaking.I have loved him for so long.I will not give up on this child.I will listen to your advice.I will give my child any chance.No matter what the price.I will learn all that I need to help my child thrive.I'll even use that feeding tube.My child must survive!Will he need a lot of therapy?Will he gain the needed weight?Please God, help me do this.I will accept our fate.When the monitors beep at night, it serves as my reminder.How many parents would love that sound.Tomorrow I will be kinder.As another Angel earns his wings,I run to my child's bed.I watch him sleep for quite a while.I bend down and kiss his head.I cry for the parents whose hearts have been broken.I look to You wondering why?Oh Lord, I just can't know your matter how I try.And yet, I trust you hold his life, and guide us through each day.My mind says savor each moment he's here,but my heart begs, "PLEASE let him stay"!From pacing the surgical waiting room, to sitting by his bed.From wishing for a good nights sleep, to learning every med.From wondering, "will he be alright?", to watching him reach out his hands.With every smile my heart just melts, despite life's harsh demands.For all who see that faded line.I look to them and smile.You see my child is loved so much.I would face ANY trial.That scar I trace with my finger (It's the door to his beautiful heart).God must have known how much I'd love him (Just as He loved him from the start).A heart mom is always a heart mom.Now wise beyond her years.For those who have angels in heaven,Our hearts share in all of your tears.Every day I will try and remember,I was chosen for him (and no other).I will always embrace that beautiful day.......When I became a "Heart Mother"

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Eyes Wide open

Connor has been wide wake since I got back from my little nap this morning. He has been talking up a storm, looking around and running his marathon with his cute little chubby legs.

He had his chest tubes pulled this morning all but one and hopefully that it will be pulled tomorrow. I am just waiting for his art line in his hand to be pulled and I can finally hold my baby boy ......and thats all I have been wanting to do since they took him into surgery..

I met one of my heart moms that I follow her little baby through her blog today and it was so so nice to talk to someone that understands and can relate she is a wonderful mom and person

 I ask all my loved ones to pray for her little annie she is such a beautiful little girl and needs all the prayers and love sent her way at this time......... all we ask for is a small miracle so she can go home and be loved by all her brothers and sisters. :) And most importantly by her mom

I  was lucky enough to met carolyn from Intermountain Healing Hearts. She came by to give me the most thoughtful gift a care package for me here at the hospital, I am so thankful for these women that started this group when I was lost, confused and just didnt know how I would make it  their forums helped me understand there is light at the end of the tunnel. They take time out of their lives to make sure we know they care and if we need anything they are there for us!!!!  What remarkable women and I truly thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Connor has finally fallen to sleep after all the busy morning we both have had :)

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