Love of my Life

Love of my Life

Heart Mother

One day my world came crashing down,I'll never be the same.They told me that my child was sick.I thought, "am I to blame"?I don't think I can handle this.I am really not that strong.It seemed my heart was breaking.I have loved him for so long.I will not give up on this child.I will listen to your advice.I will give my child any chance.No matter what the price.I will learn all that I need to help my child thrive.I'll even use that feeding tube.My child must survive!Will he need a lot of therapy?Will he gain the needed weight?Please God, help me do this.I will accept our fate.When the monitors beep at night, it serves as my reminder.How many parents would love that sound.Tomorrow I will be kinder.As another Angel earns his wings,I run to my child's bed.I watch him sleep for quite a while.I bend down and kiss his head.I cry for the parents whose hearts have been broken.I look to You wondering why?Oh Lord, I just can't know your matter how I try.And yet, I trust you hold his life, and guide us through each day.My mind says savor each moment he's here,but my heart begs, "PLEASE let him stay"!From pacing the surgical waiting room, to sitting by his bed.From wishing for a good nights sleep, to learning every med.From wondering, "will he be alright?", to watching him reach out his hands.With every smile my heart just melts, despite life's harsh demands.For all who see that faded line.I look to them and smile.You see my child is loved so much.I would face ANY trial.That scar I trace with my finger (It's the door to his beautiful heart).God must have known how much I'd love him (Just as He loved him from the start).A heart mom is always a heart mom.Now wise beyond her years.For those who have angels in heaven,Our hearts share in all of your tears.Every day I will try and remember,I was chosen for him (and no other).I will always embrace that beautiful day.......When I became a "Heart Mother"

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Little Mr. Fire pants

We left for a break around 7 am just to shower and get some sleep for a few hours ......I ended up sleeping until Noon I called to check on my sweet little Connor and he had making some new friends, His nurse Tara told me that they were able to take out his ventilator and he was so so so angry infact when we arrived    
at the CICU everyone that we ran into let us know how upset he got they had to sedate him to calm him down ..........Good old Irish blood and just like his dad 0-60 on the temper meter LOL

He had his art line taken out of his neck, his cath from his diaper and the breathing tube out......... he has had a full morning and he gave his nurses and doctors hell. Like I said like father like son and he is a carbon copy.

Connor is so so happy now he is fast asleep he has had a bottle and thats all he needed :)

I want to thank all my family for their support and love and all the goodies to keep my spirits up with out you I would be lost I love you all more then I can say.

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