Love of my Life

Love of my Life

Heart Mother

One day my world came crashing down,I'll never be the same.They told me that my child was sick.I thought, "am I to blame"?I don't think I can handle this.I am really not that strong.It seemed my heart was breaking.I have loved him for so long.I will not give up on this child.I will listen to your advice.I will give my child any chance.No matter what the price.I will learn all that I need to help my child thrive.I'll even use that feeding tube.My child must survive!Will he need a lot of therapy?Will he gain the needed weight?Please God, help me do this.I will accept our fate.When the monitors beep at night, it serves as my reminder.How many parents would love that sound.Tomorrow I will be kinder.As another Angel earns his wings,I run to my child's bed.I watch him sleep for quite a while.I bend down and kiss his head.I cry for the parents whose hearts have been broken.I look to You wondering why?Oh Lord, I just can't know your matter how I try.And yet, I trust you hold his life, and guide us through each day.My mind says savor each moment he's here,but my heart begs, "PLEASE let him stay"!From pacing the surgical waiting room, to sitting by his bed.From wishing for a good nights sleep, to learning every med.From wondering, "will he be alright?", to watching him reach out his hands.With every smile my heart just melts, despite life's harsh demands.For all who see that faded line.I look to them and smile.You see my child is loved so much.I would face ANY trial.That scar I trace with my finger (It's the door to his beautiful heart).God must have known how much I'd love him (Just as He loved him from the start).A heart mom is always a heart mom.Now wise beyond her years.For those who have angels in heaven,Our hearts share in all of your tears.Every day I will try and remember,I was chosen for him (and no other).I will always embrace that beautiful day.......When I became a "Heart Mother"

Monday, May 3, 2010

Longest day of my life

We are at primary children's ......Poor little Connor is so so hungry he hasn't eaten since midnight and he is all about his eating. Even though he hasnt been able to eat he is such a sweet baby he just wants to be walked around to see everything.  We all have taken turns keeping him busy walking the hall ways while we wait for the surgeon to take him away.

We are playing the game of waiting we arrived here at 11 am and They didn't take him back until almost 2??

When he took him away from me all I could think was I am not ready just give me a couple of more days weeks months. My arms are so empty with out my little con man

My family all came to help me be strong but my heart hurts my arms are empty and Connor is with the surgeons getting ready to get better.

I will keep you updated as the let us know

We ask for your prayers and Love for my little man

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