Love of my Life

Love of my Life

Heart Mother

One day my world came crashing down,I'll never be the same.They told me that my child was sick.I thought, "am I to blame"?I don't think I can handle this.I am really not that strong.It seemed my heart was breaking.I have loved him for so long.I will not give up on this child.I will listen to your advice.I will give my child any chance.No matter what the price.I will learn all that I need to help my child thrive.I'll even use that feeding tube.My child must survive!Will he need a lot of therapy?Will he gain the needed weight?Please God, help me do this.I will accept our fate.When the monitors beep at night, it serves as my reminder.How many parents would love that sound.Tomorrow I will be kinder.As another Angel earns his wings,I run to my child's bed.I watch him sleep for quite a while.I bend down and kiss his head.I cry for the parents whose hearts have been broken.I look to You wondering why?Oh Lord, I just can't know your matter how I try.And yet, I trust you hold his life, and guide us through each day.My mind says savor each moment he's here,but my heart begs, "PLEASE let him stay"!From pacing the surgical waiting room, to sitting by his bed.From wishing for a good nights sleep, to learning every med.From wondering, "will he be alright?", to watching him reach out his hands.With every smile my heart just melts, despite life's harsh demands.For all who see that faded line.I look to them and smile.You see my child is loved so much.I would face ANY trial.That scar I trace with my finger (It's the door to his beautiful heart).God must have known how much I'd love him (Just as He loved him from the start).A heart mom is always a heart mom.Now wise beyond her years.For those who have angels in heaven,Our hearts share in all of your tears.Every day I will try and remember,I was chosen for him (and no other).I will always embrace that beautiful day.......When I became a "Heart Mother"

Thursday, April 29, 2010


Today I am at peace with myself....I've let go of all the anger I had and just enjoyed the day with my children.

Joss makes me laugh she insisted on putting her dolls shoes on and said they were her shoes......She makes me happy so so happy

Connor man is such a sweet heart he has learned to use his voice.... he will sit there and smile at you and talk.....telling you a story. its the sweetest thing in the world

Whittney came home from her friends and told me since I am leaving for salt lake on saturday after school she wants to spend the day with us........She loves to play so this is a big thing for her to give up her play time to spend the time with us as a family........She is such a sweet girl way to grown up and wise for an 8 year old.

No tears today, wash the windows, Painted a door, did all laundry, went to the gym, loved my kids it was a full day but most important I enjoyed life thats what counts :)

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