Love of my Life

Love of my Life

Heart Mother

One day my world came crashing down,I'll never be the same.They told me that my child was sick.I thought, "am I to blame"?I don't think I can handle this.I am really not that strong.It seemed my heart was breaking.I have loved him for so long.I will not give up on this child.I will listen to your advice.I will give my child any chance.No matter what the price.I will learn all that I need to help my child thrive.I'll even use that feeding tube.My child must survive!Will he need a lot of therapy?Will he gain the needed weight?Please God, help me do this.I will accept our fate.When the monitors beep at night, it serves as my reminder.How many parents would love that sound.Tomorrow I will be kinder.As another Angel earns his wings,I run to my child's bed.I watch him sleep for quite a while.I bend down and kiss his head.I cry for the parents whose hearts have been broken.I look to You wondering why?Oh Lord, I just can't know your ways....no matter how I try.And yet, I trust you hold his life, and guide us through each day.My mind says savor each moment he's here,but my heart begs, "PLEASE let him stay"!From pacing the surgical waiting room, to sitting by his bed.From wishing for a good nights sleep, to learning every med.From wondering, "will he be alright?", to watching him reach out his hands.With every smile my heart just melts, despite life's harsh demands.For all who see that faded line.I look to them and smile.You see my child is loved so much.I would face ANY trial.That scar I trace with my finger (It's the door to his beautiful heart).God must have known how much I'd love him (Just as He loved him from the start).A heart mom is always a heart mom.Now wise beyond her years.For those who have angels in heaven,Our hearts share in all of your tears.Every day I will try and remember,I was chosen for him (and no other).I will always embrace that beautiful day.......When I became a "Heart Mother"

Friday, June 25, 2010

Time is going by so fast

The days are going so fast................Connor on fathers day started to babble on and guess what his first word was????? DA DA .........................Okay what gives............................. I am the one changing him in the middle of the night, I get up with him all night long to feed him and I was the one by his side all the time at PMCH so Why DA DA ..................I guess it is the fact that when his dad enters the room  his eyes light up and he watches him the whole time. My little buddie loves his dad and that's all right by me.


Today I let him lay on the floor and I went to get all the toys from outside and when I came back in he was on his tummy........Yeah for Connor man he is learning so many things everyday in just 5 days he will be 6 Months .......................................I worry.......................................I see his little face and I wonder how on earth I got to be his mom, he is just my love of my life..........................

I will be taking him in on the July 29th to Dr. Williams for his check up and pray that all looks excellent !!!!! I just want him to be fixed and all done but I  know our road is long ahead of us..............sometimes my heart hurts.....................................I just want him to be alittle boy that has no worries in life.............

I found out next month or so I need to go in for surgery to fix Abdominal wall hernia ..............................sounds fun right??? I hate getting old my body is falling apart on me LOL I have 2 weeks for bed rest so my plan is for August to get it done so I can have a little peace since the kids will be in school :)

No comments: