Love of my Life

Love of my Life

Heart Mother

One day my world came crashing down,I'll never be the same.They told me that my child was sick.I thought, "am I to blame"?I don't think I can handle this.I am really not that strong.It seemed my heart was breaking.I have loved him for so long.I will not give up on this child.I will listen to your advice.I will give my child any chance.No matter what the price.I will learn all that I need to help my child thrive.I'll even use that feeding tube.My child must survive!Will he need a lot of therapy?Will he gain the needed weight?Please God, help me do this.I will accept our fate.When the monitors beep at night, it serves as my reminder.How many parents would love that sound.Tomorrow I will be kinder.As another Angel earns his wings,I run to my child's bed.I watch him sleep for quite a while.I bend down and kiss his head.I cry for the parents whose hearts have been broken.I look to You wondering why?Oh Lord, I just can't know your matter how I try.And yet, I trust you hold his life, and guide us through each day.My mind says savor each moment he's here,but my heart begs, "PLEASE let him stay"!From pacing the surgical waiting room, to sitting by his bed.From wishing for a good nights sleep, to learning every med.From wondering, "will he be alright?", to watching him reach out his hands.With every smile my heart just melts, despite life's harsh demands.For all who see that faded line.I look to them and smile.You see my child is loved so much.I would face ANY trial.That scar I trace with my finger (It's the door to his beautiful heart).God must have known how much I'd love him (Just as He loved him from the start).A heart mom is always a heart mom.Now wise beyond her years.For those who have angels in heaven,Our hearts share in all of your tears.Every day I will try and remember,I was chosen for him (and no other).I will always embrace that beautiful day.......When I became a "Heart Mother"

Monday, August 30, 2010

My o My 8 Months Old

Yep he is ...............Can you believe where does the time go .............

He will not crawl but the little stinker can sit up egg roll over and sit up again he does a spider head stand of sorts and can push his new walker all over the place he just is not interested in crawling he loves to pull himself up and stand..............He just is a big boy and so so cute you can just eat him up

Everyday I have these thoughts about the future and I will not let them win ....................I am so grateful for his life and the journey we are on........................... come rain or shine he is the LOVE OF MY LIFE ............Sorry Hubby you have been replaced. LOL

I am doing better since my week of @$%%@#@ if you know what I mean............I can now shower myself and get out of bed so life is good............On a high note I woke up the other morning to some sloppy kisses and the were the best I have ever had my sweet connor rolled over and pushed himself up to me to give me the love I needed and had been missing ..........Its times like that ..........that makes it all worth while.............

Thank you god for my love of my life without I would not be whole <3<3<3<3

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