Love of my Life

Love of my Life

Heart Mother

One day my world came crashing down,I'll never be the same.They told me that my child was sick.I thought, "am I to blame"?I don't think I can handle this.I am really not that strong.It seemed my heart was breaking.I have loved him for so long.I will not give up on this child.I will listen to your advice.I will give my child any chance.No matter what the price.I will learn all that I need to help my child thrive.I'll even use that feeding tube.My child must survive!Will he need a lot of therapy?Will he gain the needed weight?Please God, help me do this.I will accept our fate.When the monitors beep at night, it serves as my reminder.How many parents would love that sound.Tomorrow I will be kinder.As another Angel earns his wings,I run to my child's bed.I watch him sleep for quite a while.I bend down and kiss his head.I cry for the parents whose hearts have been broken.I look to You wondering why?Oh Lord, I just can't know your matter how I try.And yet, I trust you hold his life, and guide us through each day.My mind says savor each moment he's here,but my heart begs, "PLEASE let him stay"!From pacing the surgical waiting room, to sitting by his bed.From wishing for a good nights sleep, to learning every med.From wondering, "will he be alright?", to watching him reach out his hands.With every smile my heart just melts, despite life's harsh demands.For all who see that faded line.I look to them and smile.You see my child is loved so much.I would face ANY trial.That scar I trace with my finger (It's the door to his beautiful heart).God must have known how much I'd love him (Just as He loved him from the start).A heart mom is always a heart mom.Now wise beyond her years.For those who have angels in heaven,Our hearts share in all of your tears.Every day I will try and remember,I was chosen for him (and no other).I will always embrace that beautiful day.......When I became a "Heart Mother"

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

9 months we will go

It was a few days ago little Connor turned 9 months old and boy is he busy..............So that makes me busy :) 

We have traveled to San Diego gone to Lagoon for the halloween celebration and the kids loved it ..........
 Jossy loved the rides this time???? 
I am currently getting myself ready to go back to work and I hate to say it but it makes me sad to think of being gone one minute from my kids but the bills are calling and I need to help out during the winter when my husband can not get the hours need to pay all the bills ................
Wish me luck I have three days of training starting this Thursday and then I get to be back online flying with all the wonderful travelers :O LOL

Connors Doctors appointment is SKD for December 15th so lets pray for health heart happy baby good weight gain and no mean sickies soon it will be time to hide away from the world and protect him from the winter bugs......Which reminds me We all get to have the flu shot to protect him from us and our work buggies 

Celebrate this month with us for gods grace and the blessing of this sweet and adorable baby boy 

This poem from my favorite poet says it all 

Twas the night that you joined us...all eyes were on earth.
Awaiting with joy for a most special birth.
The angel's stood ready...for each need and care,
But all of them knew... that the Lord would be there,
And I labored on... and daddy was scared,
We waited...and wondered... and hoped we'd prepared.
We knew you were special...but so very sick,
Yet hope had grown in me... with every kick.
And soon it was time...into this world you came,
I heard a soft cry... then I called out your name....
And God held your hands...while the angels stood by,
Since I could not hold you...they hushed your soft cries.
One small angel looked to the father and smiled,
"Can you truly teach hope... through such a small child"?
"An infant so helpless...a baby so new...
"Oh please tell me this what you will do"?
God looked from the the baby's sweet face,
"Through her my young charge... they will learn about grace".
"I penned this child's journey...quite a long time ago,
"And through her great courage...such true love will grow".
"Every hair on her head has been numbered you see.."
"It's my hope that through her... they will learn to see me.
"Oh my little one with a special heart..." "Great love will see you through.."
"See look that is your family..""They've been waiting for you.."
"I send you to their waiting arms...for a time we'll be apart.."
"But I'll always be with you...for I live within your heart.
And so we held you in our arms...And thanked our Lord above..
In you...we see the miracle,of His undying love.
So when it's Christmas morning, And I watch my children play,
I'll need no great reminders, For I see my gifts each day.

Stephanie(Mommy to Braeden, HLHS)

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