Love of my Life

Love of my Life

Heart Mother

One day my world came crashing down,I'll never be the same.They told me that my child was sick.I thought, "am I to blame"?I don't think I can handle this.I am really not that strong.It seemed my heart was breaking.I have loved him for so long.I will not give up on this child.I will listen to your advice.I will give my child any chance.No matter what the price.I will learn all that I need to help my child thrive.I'll even use that feeding tube.My child must survive!Will he need a lot of therapy?Will he gain the needed weight?Please God, help me do this.I will accept our fate.When the monitors beep at night, it serves as my reminder.How many parents would love that sound.Tomorrow I will be kinder.As another Angel earns his wings,I run to my child's bed.I watch him sleep for quite a while.I bend down and kiss his head.I cry for the parents whose hearts have been broken.I look to You wondering why?Oh Lord, I just can't know your matter how I try.And yet, I trust you hold his life, and guide us through each day.My mind says savor each moment he's here,but my heart begs, "PLEASE let him stay"!From pacing the surgical waiting room, to sitting by his bed.From wishing for a good nights sleep, to learning every med.From wondering, "will he be alright?", to watching him reach out his hands.With every smile my heart just melts, despite life's harsh demands.For all who see that faded line.I look to them and smile.You see my child is loved so much.I would face ANY trial.That scar I trace with my finger (It's the door to his beautiful heart).God must have known how much I'd love him (Just as He loved him from the start).A heart mom is always a heart mom.Now wise beyond her years.For those who have angels in heaven,Our hearts share in all of your tears.Every day I will try and remember,I was chosen for him (and no other).I will always embrace that beautiful day.......When I became a "Heart Mother"

Monday, October 18, 2010

Ready for Halloween

Connor is so so busy..........busy growing up and busy getting into everthing possible :)

We are getting ready for Halloween ....I have to admit it is my favorite holiday......... could it be that it is also my B-day :) 

I returned to work and passed all my testing with flying colors, Its hard being away my heart belongs at home and my mind thinks of my babies every minute of the day.
I wish I could be rich and stay home.................... I would be loving every minute of it ..........
also for the next couple of weeks I am on reserve which means I never know what the day will bring or where I will go, I have a 2 hour call out time so my bags are packed and my uniform hanging ready to rush to SLC since it takes 2 hours from my house this should be really fun when they call :)

The other night I had the Girls cook dinner and they did a fabulous job, infact I think once a week they can cook dinner. They loved every minute of it and I loved having a break from it and of course Connor did what he does best he sat in his high chair and laughed and played while we worked :)

All and all loving the fall weather not looking forward to snow but it will be soon that we see it, I have been so busy I dont get to write on the blog as much as I want but maybe after I get everything under control I will be able to do it daily......blogging gives me an outlet the freedom to vent and it really helps when I feel everything getting out of control :)

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