Love of my Life

Love of my Life

Heart Mother

One day my world came crashing down,I'll never be the same.They told me that my child was sick.I thought, "am I to blame"?I don't think I can handle this.I am really not that strong.It seemed my heart was breaking.I have loved him for so long.I will not give up on this child.I will listen to your advice.I will give my child any chance.No matter what the price.I will learn all that I need to help my child thrive.I'll even use that feeding tube.My child must survive!Will he need a lot of therapy?Will he gain the needed weight?Please God, help me do this.I will accept our fate.When the monitors beep at night, it serves as my reminder.How many parents would love that sound.Tomorrow I will be kinder.As another Angel earns his wings,I run to my child's bed.I watch him sleep for quite a while.I bend down and kiss his head.I cry for the parents whose hearts have been broken.I look to You wondering why?Oh Lord, I just can't know your matter how I try.And yet, I trust you hold his life, and guide us through each day.My mind says savor each moment he's here,but my heart begs, "PLEASE let him stay"!From pacing the surgical waiting room, to sitting by his bed.From wishing for a good nights sleep, to learning every med.From wondering, "will he be alright?", to watching him reach out his hands.With every smile my heart just melts, despite life's harsh demands.For all who see that faded line.I look to them and smile.You see my child is loved so much.I would face ANY trial.That scar I trace with my finger (It's the door to his beautiful heart).God must have known how much I'd love him (Just as He loved him from the start).A heart mom is always a heart mom.Now wise beyond her years.For those who have angels in heaven,Our hearts share in all of your tears.Every day I will try and remember,I was chosen for him (and no other).I will always embrace that beautiful day.......When I became a "Heart Mother"

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

So dear to my heart

All went well at the doctors on the 15th and the plan is to see Connor in 6 months, then we will have a echo and the normal heart doctor visit.

Connor is 22 lbs and 30 inches and is doing great~~~

Yesterday I had my sister brenda help me with my three little ones, Shane was getting off his trip an hour after I was to start mine so Brenda stepped up to the plate and helped me with them until he could pick them up, Brenda surprised me with a beautiful christmas gift.........First in the bag you could see the pillow with all these different sayings on it everything I love peace happiness and so on. I thanked her and it was time to go to work so I packed up the gift and was on my way. Come to find out after all the trouble of driving down and taking my kiddos to my sisters the flight was cancelled and I could go home>>>>>> So I drove back loaded everything back up and headed home. The next day I noticed that behind the pillow was another gift I took it out and unwrapped it......It was a heart ornament!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Its beautiful. bright red and has glitter all over it. I started to cry. I don't know how she knew it but I had been looking for hearts to add to my tree to remind me of Connors special heart.

 It is so dear to my heart that she went out of her way to find me this special gift
 I have been blessed with the most wonderful sister that has been unselfish and caring and has always been there for me

My family is unique and one of a kind..............I thank my mom and dad that they showed us how to care for each other and not to be selfish, I think they gave us the most precious gift in life.
To be good person and treat others with kindness, I didn't know that not all families do this until I met my husband and then I learned how wonderful and kind and caring my family is and that it is a gift to have and not to take it for granted.

You forget about the little things in life then god laughs and reminds you what is important

This christmas season I wish you all to remember the little things and pay it forward to some one that needs the little something to make their day better.

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