Love of my Life

Love of my Life

Heart Mother

One day my world came crashing down,I'll never be the same.They told me that my child was sick.I thought, "am I to blame"?I don't think I can handle this.I am really not that strong.It seemed my heart was breaking.I have loved him for so long.I will not give up on this child.I will listen to your advice.I will give my child any chance.No matter what the price.I will learn all that I need to help my child thrive.I'll even use that feeding tube.My child must survive!Will he need a lot of therapy?Will he gain the needed weight?Please God, help me do this.I will accept our fate.When the monitors beep at night, it serves as my reminder.How many parents would love that sound.Tomorrow I will be kinder.As another Angel earns his wings,I run to my child's bed.I watch him sleep for quite a while.I bend down and kiss his head.I cry for the parents whose hearts have been broken.I look to You wondering why?Oh Lord, I just can't know your matter how I try.And yet, I trust you hold his life, and guide us through each day.My mind says savor each moment he's here,but my heart begs, "PLEASE let him stay"!From pacing the surgical waiting room, to sitting by his bed.From wishing for a good nights sleep, to learning every med.From wondering, "will he be alright?", to watching him reach out his hands.With every smile my heart just melts, despite life's harsh demands.For all who see that faded line.I look to them and smile.You see my child is loved so much.I would face ANY trial.That scar I trace with my finger (It's the door to his beautiful heart).God must have known how much I'd love him (Just as He loved him from the start).A heart mom is always a heart mom.Now wise beyond her years.For those who have angels in heaven,Our hearts share in all of your tears.Every day I will try and remember,I was chosen for him (and no other).I will always embrace that beautiful day.......When I became a "Heart Mother"

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Busy new year

Connor is now one and busy walking!!!!!!!!!! He holds his hands above his head as he walks, He is the cutest
He has had the stomach flu and he has been so so sick and lucky me I also got it too!!!!! So now Jossy, Whittney and Connor have all had the wonderful flu this year!!!!!! lets just hope for no more.

Connor's party was a blast and the kids loved dancing the night away with the xbox kinetic. Connor made out like a bandit and has more toys then he knows what to do with, The One he loves the most is a ball blower. The balls pop out of the top and he sat and laughed and laughed. It was soooo cute. I will try to add the video so you can experience the toy that he loves.

When he ate his cake he wouldn't touch it, its my fault you see when I feed him I tell him "mom Do " and he holds his hands away from the food plate so when we put the cake down on his highchair he did not know what to do so he put his face in it :) and he enjoyed every minute of it.

Connor is growing and being a boy, into every thing he can but my love for him grows everyday. Sometimes I feel my heart will burst.

We had planned on sending off the wishing lanterns that night but since it was -10 it didn't happen it has been way to cold to play outside or do anything else.

My step kids returned home and we miss them. My older girls returned home and We miss them too.

It was a busy month in December and hope that for the next couple of months we can stay healthy and just enjoy the new year.

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