Love of my Life

Love of my Life

Heart Mother

One day my world came crashing down,I'll never be the same.They told me that my child was sick.I thought, "am I to blame"?I don't think I can handle this.I am really not that strong.It seemed my heart was breaking.I have loved him for so long.I will not give up on this child.I will listen to your advice.I will give my child any chance.No matter what the price.I will learn all that I need to help my child thrive.I'll even use that feeding tube.My child must survive!Will he need a lot of therapy?Will he gain the needed weight?Please God, help me do this.I will accept our fate.When the monitors beep at night, it serves as my reminder.How many parents would love that sound.Tomorrow I will be kinder.As another Angel earns his wings,I run to my child's bed.I watch him sleep for quite a while.I bend down and kiss his head.I cry for the parents whose hearts have been broken.I look to You wondering why?Oh Lord, I just can't know your matter how I try.And yet, I trust you hold his life, and guide us through each day.My mind says savor each moment he's here,but my heart begs, "PLEASE let him stay"!From pacing the surgical waiting room, to sitting by his bed.From wishing for a good nights sleep, to learning every med.From wondering, "will he be alright?", to watching him reach out his hands.With every smile my heart just melts, despite life's harsh demands.For all who see that faded line.I look to them and smile.You see my child is loved so much.I would face ANY trial.That scar I trace with my finger (It's the door to his beautiful heart).God must have known how much I'd love him (Just as He loved him from the start).A heart mom is always a heart mom.Now wise beyond her years.For those who have angels in heaven,Our hearts share in all of your tears.Every day I will try and remember,I was chosen for him (and no other).I will always embrace that beautiful day.......When I became a "Heart Mother"

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

A Normal house

OK for the last 6 weeks our house has been demolished rebuilt and a living !@#!$

We had no sinks for the last week and half so it really made life great to wash everything in the bath tub :(

But now we have floors, walls and get this even sinks with counter tops
life is good !!!!

And the funniest part was the kids didn't even mind the mess they seem to just go about the normal routine and ignore the ciaos

Connor is getting so big he loves to be outside ( weather permitting) He literally will throw his ultimate tantrum if the door is opened and he is not taken out side. Thank heavens for the wagon because I can seat belt him in and he can sit still while I pull him and joss around the block

May is fast approaching and jossy's birthday is coming up.
 I love to throw a birthday party, I got that from my mom. She always made sure our birthdays were special and she always made them big. Tradition will be carried on and my husband loves the bill but what do we work for if not to enjoy life :)

As for me I have been SO SO sick , okay it was just a cold but......its my own doing I like to try to do everything and throw in a little construction for the hell of it. I painted the whole house, tiled grouted sealed and made sure that the whole project was done and coordinated so in the end I am sick.
 way too many nights up to 5am or so that is when all the work is done when you have two under two,

I am looking forward to the heart mothers luncheon this weekend and back to training to run the 5k Its my goal to make it in the top 10 or so but we will see ,we will see.

Life is life and now that the project is over I can be doing the things I love rather then working on things I shouldn't have to do

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