Connor My little frog: O the forgotten Adventures of July

Heart Mother

One day my world came crashing down,I'll never be the same.They told me that my child was sick.I thought, "am I to blame"?I don't think I can handle this.I am really not that strong.It seemed my heart was breaking.I have loved him for so long.I will not give up on this child.I will listen to your advice.I will give my child any chance.No matter what the price.I will learn all that I need to help my child thrive.I'll even use that feeding tube.My child must survive!Will he need a lot of therapy?Will he gain the needed weight?Please God, help me do this.I will accept our fate.When the monitors beep at night, it serves as my reminder.How many parents would love that sound.Tomorrow I will be kinder.As another Angel earns his wings,I run to my child's bed.I watch him sleep for quite a while.I bend down and kiss his head.I cry for the parents whose hearts have been broken.I look to You wondering why?Oh Lord, I just can't know your ways....no matter how I try.And yet, I trust you hold his life, and guide us through each day.My mind says savor each moment he's here,but my heart begs, "PLEASE let him stay"!From pacing the surgical waiting room, to sitting by his bed.From wishing for a good nights sleep, to learning every med.From wondering, "will he be alright?", to watching him reach out his hands.With every smile my heart just melts, despite life's harsh demands.For all who see that faded line.I look to them and smile.You see my child is loved so much.I would face ANY trial.That scar I trace with my finger (It's the door to his beautiful heart).God must have known how much I'd love him (Just as He loved him from the start).A heart mom is always a heart mom.Now wise beyond her years.For those who have angels in heaven,Our hearts share in all of your tears.Every day I will try and remember,I was chosen for him (and no other).I will always embrace that beautiful day.......When I became a "Heart Mother"

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

O the forgotten Adventures of July

Okay since my last pity party post I've kept myself busy and WA LA all better, spirits are lifted rolling on up the roller coaster to the top now if I can just pull the emergency stop and stay right at the peak right before you go over the edge.......

Connor has had a few rough days not sleeping and just plain not happy. It makes me feel like its my fault I traded his expensive formula to good old vitamin D milk??? I always second guess my choices, what if he starts loosing weight ??? and not thriving because of the switch? I guess the next month will tell. The bill of 80.00 a week for the formula was adding up!!!! so pray that I made the right choice.

I noticed that for the month of July I forgot a few trips that we made.

We went to Benihanas for my sons Cole's 13th birthday, It was so funny to see Connor sitting and watching instead of running around the restaurant like a wild man. It was a great experience for all the kids watching the chiefs chopping and throwing the knifes. Joss now throws her silverware in the air to mimic them!!!

Off we went to Sun Valley to see my Beautiful Sister Darlin Skate, She is in the Summer Shows and Teaches at the rink for the last 19 years and YES she is younger then me she just started really young. She has around like 98 students that all adore her. She is so sweet and caring to all the children and she even took the time to come to the rink and skate with all of us on her day off and since she spends every waking hour at the rink it was really sweet to come and skate with the girls and Connor loved it he marched around for about 10 minute and then he was done. also at the Ice Show we even got to see some crazy guy run naked across the Ice during the show "Dinner and a show " I never thought I would see a streaker on Ice and now I can cross that off my bucket list !!!! Sorry I didn't get a pictures of the event ??

We also got to the Shoshone water falls it was beautiful and even though the kids moaned when we told them we were taking a side trip to the falls it was well worth the trip and a little scary to stand on the bridge.

I am hoping for some sleep for the next couple of nights if my little man can get over whatever is going on !!!!