Love of my Life

Love of my Life

Heart Mother

One day my world came crashing down,I'll never be the same.They told me that my child was sick.I thought, "am I to blame"?I don't think I can handle this.I am really not that strong.It seemed my heart was breaking.I have loved him for so long.I will not give up on this child.I will listen to your advice.I will give my child any chance.No matter what the price.I will learn all that I need to help my child thrive.I'll even use that feeding tube.My child must survive!Will he need a lot of therapy?Will he gain the needed weight?Please God, help me do this.I will accept our fate.When the monitors beep at night, it serves as my reminder.How many parents would love that sound.Tomorrow I will be kinder.As another Angel earns his wings,I run to my child's bed.I watch him sleep for quite a while.I bend down and kiss his head.I cry for the parents whose hearts have been broken.I look to You wondering why?Oh Lord, I just can't know your matter how I try.And yet, I trust you hold his life, and guide us through each day.My mind says savor each moment he's here,but my heart begs, "PLEASE let him stay"!From pacing the surgical waiting room, to sitting by his bed.From wishing for a good nights sleep, to learning every med.From wondering, "will he be alright?", to watching him reach out his hands.With every smile my heart just melts, despite life's harsh demands.For all who see that faded line.I look to them and smile.You see my child is loved so much.I would face ANY trial.That scar I trace with my finger (It's the door to his beautiful heart).God must have known how much I'd love him (Just as He loved him from the start).A heart mom is always a heart mom.Now wise beyond her years.For those who have angels in heaven,Our hearts share in all of your tears.Every day I will try and remember,I was chosen for him (and no other).I will always embrace that beautiful day.......When I became a "Heart Mother"

Thursday, October 6, 2011

September In Pictures ( here at last)

what was the month September filled with ....................................

Surfing at Flow rider in Provo..................... My sisters 21st birthday (Yes we all will be 21 forever!!!)

Jossy ridding her new scooter (auntie Ash spoils this girl!)

Connors beads of Courage ...............and jossy beading it for us, We need more string to complete it
 when it is all done we will tally all the beads and post the finish product..............
 so so much fun for the girls to see what their brother has been through and how many time
( each bead color represents a procedure done to Connor! )

Utah state fair.................. with my family its a tradition to get together and I enjoyed every minute I Love my family miss them when I cant come and see them. Connor tried to get out and ride the sheep and every animal he could he did ride the ponies but I had to be with him so no photos right now have to get them from my mom Connor kept on trying to get the horses tail and rear end it was so funny!!!

Connor stole my dads hat and loved to tease grandpa Connor looks just like my dad when he was young!!!

Whittney stole my camera for the day and took photos of jossy and silly ones of herself ( you never know maybe this will be her calling the photos turned out fabulous ) Teaches me to put my camera away and not laying around for the kids to play with :)

We flew to Jackson hole Connor got to sit on dad lap he loved being in the flight deck and just tried to touch everything and didn't want to go to his seat??? It was fun to go with dad sometime even though we got bumped off the first flight and had to wait 3 hours for the next but the kids thought it was so fun to walk around the airport and get krispy kremes and just do whatever while we waited Connor ran around like a crazy man and tried to get on a few other flights but I was too fast for him but he is really fast soon I will not be able to keep up with the wild man!!!!

My tail bone is better it still hurts but better no more falls !!!

Its Cold cold here and the Pumpkins are getting big my favorite holiday is coming up and my birthday so October is going to be fun

Connor goes in October 26th asking for prayers that everything looks great again and not surgery for a long long time!!!!!!

Heart Hugs Ivy

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