Love of my Life

Love of my Life

Heart Mother

One day my world came crashing down,I'll never be the same.They told me that my child was sick.I thought, "am I to blame"?I don't think I can handle this.I am really not that strong.It seemed my heart was breaking.I have loved him for so long.I will not give up on this child.I will listen to your advice.I will give my child any chance.No matter what the price.I will learn all that I need to help my child thrive.I'll even use that feeding tube.My child must survive!Will he need a lot of therapy?Will he gain the needed weight?Please God, help me do this.I will accept our fate.When the monitors beep at night, it serves as my reminder.How many parents would love that sound.Tomorrow I will be kinder.As another Angel earns his wings,I run to my child's bed.I watch him sleep for quite a while.I bend down and kiss his head.I cry for the parents whose hearts have been broken.I look to You wondering why?Oh Lord, I just can't know your matter how I try.And yet, I trust you hold his life, and guide us through each day.My mind says savor each moment he's here,but my heart begs, "PLEASE let him stay"!From pacing the surgical waiting room, to sitting by his bed.From wishing for a good nights sleep, to learning every med.From wondering, "will he be alright?", to watching him reach out his hands.With every smile my heart just melts, despite life's harsh demands.For all who see that faded line.I look to them and smile.You see my child is loved so much.I would face ANY trial.That scar I trace with my finger (It's the door to his beautiful heart).God must have known how much I'd love him (Just as He loved him from the start).A heart mom is always a heart mom.Now wise beyond her years.For those who have angels in heaven,Our hearts share in all of your tears.Every day I will try and remember,I was chosen for him (and no other).I will always embrace that beautiful day.......When I became a "Heart Mother"

Monday, October 10, 2011

One long night

What can one night teach you ????

Well let's start with the Flu shot that is suppose to protect our heart babies sometime doesn't !!!!!

Our great doctor came over at 7pm to administer the flu shots to all and Connors synergies shot ( for the great price of 4000.00) and he gets 8 !!!!!

I progress

On into the evening all are asleep I hear some noise in jossy room ???
Jossy is awake laying there shaking trembling shaking and is lethargic !!!! Run and grab Shane decide to put her into the tub fever 103
text our doctor to ask I'd this because of the shot !!!!!
Yep allergic reaction give pain Meds............
two minutes later throwing up all over the bath tub Meds not kept down still shaking and not getting better !!!!
put jossy in shower while I clean out tub and then back into the tub ..........
move to bed on floor in bathroom throwing up every couple minutes and shaking !!!
Mom of the year award I'm  out of pain meds and no store is open call emergency room beg for pain meds since joss has thrown up all I have given her.........
Next Connor wakes starts moaning shaking same thing makes it to the kitchen ....... throws up all over couple of times nothing I can do put Connor in the bath tub and pray for sleep it's 6 am
Needless to say I learned not to trust anyone that's says that the flu shot doesn't have any bad reactions!!!!!!
kids are still feverish and now are getting pain meds in the you know what....It's only way to get pain meds in!!!!!!
Pray for us for the shots reactions to go away And to let us get some rest!!!!


Angee and Thom said...

oh no! that is horriable! Severin just got his flu shot today, so far so good. I reallyhope you can get some rest tonight, and the reactions will pass.

Heidi said...

Seriously... that just sucks! I hope everyone is feeling better now. Good luck!