Connor My little frog: A Lump

Heart Mother

One day my world came crashing down,I'll never be the same.They told me that my child was sick.I thought, "am I to blame"?I don't think I can handle this.I am really not that strong.It seemed my heart was breaking.I have loved him for so long.I will not give up on this child.I will listen to your advice.I will give my child any chance.No matter what the price.I will learn all that I need to help my child thrive.I'll even use that feeding tube.My child must survive!Will he need a lot of therapy?Will he gain the needed weight?Please God, help me do this.I will accept our fate.When the monitors beep at night, it serves as my reminder.How many parents would love that sound.Tomorrow I will be kinder.As another Angel earns his wings,I run to my child's bed.I watch him sleep for quite a while.I bend down and kiss his head.I cry for the parents whose hearts have been broken.I look to You wondering why?Oh Lord, I just can't know your ways....no matter how I try.And yet, I trust you hold his life, and guide us through each day.My mind says savor each moment he's here,but my heart begs, "PLEASE let him stay"!From pacing the surgical waiting room, to sitting by his bed.From wishing for a good nights sleep, to learning every med.From wondering, "will he be alright?", to watching him reach out his hands.With every smile my heart just melts, despite life's harsh demands.For all who see that faded line.I look to them and smile.You see my child is loved so much.I would face ANY trial.That scar I trace with my finger (It's the door to his beautiful heart).God must have known how much I'd love him (Just as He loved him from the start).A heart mom is always a heart mom.Now wise beyond her years.For those who have angels in heaven,Our hearts share in all of your tears.Every day I will try and remember,I was chosen for him (and no other).I will always embrace that beautiful day.......When I became a "Heart Mother"

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

A Lump

Lump hate that word but unfortunately that is what I had to say to my doctor and my husband "I found a lump" two days before Christmas???

I wanted to wait and see then I started thinking too much, because that's what I do best!!!
I text my sisters and asked if they had this ever happened and they both came back and said call your doctor asap!!!!!!!

So this leaves me to a long wait and to see what it is .......so tomorrow I am off for a ultra sound and check up ? Scared? unsure?
If I get sick how I will manage it all................................. but I just need to wait and see! Right ?

I have a uneasy feeling about this all
but what will be will be

Pray for me that this silly lump is just that................ a stupid lump that has made me want to run and hide

PLEASE let it just be a lump that will go away