Love of my Life

Love of my Life

Heart Mother

One day my world came crashing down,I'll never be the same.They told me that my child was sick.I thought, "am I to blame"?I don't think I can handle this.I am really not that strong.It seemed my heart was breaking.I have loved him for so long.I will not give up on this child.I will listen to your advice.I will give my child any chance.No matter what the price.I will learn all that I need to help my child thrive.I'll even use that feeding tube.My child must survive!Will he need a lot of therapy?Will he gain the needed weight?Please God, help me do this.I will accept our fate.When the monitors beep at night, it serves as my reminder.How many parents would love that sound.Tomorrow I will be kinder.As another Angel earns his wings,I run to my child's bed.I watch him sleep for quite a while.I bend down and kiss his head.I cry for the parents whose hearts have been broken.I look to You wondering why?Oh Lord, I just can't know your matter how I try.And yet, I trust you hold his life, and guide us through each day.My mind says savor each moment he's here,but my heart begs, "PLEASE let him stay"!From pacing the surgical waiting room, to sitting by his bed.From wishing for a good nights sleep, to learning every med.From wondering, "will he be alright?", to watching him reach out his hands.With every smile my heart just melts, despite life's harsh demands.For all who see that faded line.I look to them and smile.You see my child is loved so much.I would face ANY trial.That scar I trace with my finger (It's the door to his beautiful heart).God must have known how much I'd love him (Just as He loved him from the start).A heart mom is always a heart mom.Now wise beyond her years.For those who have angels in heaven,Our hearts share in all of your tears.Every day I will try and remember,I was chosen for him (and no other).I will always embrace that beautiful day.......When I became a "Heart Mother"

Sunday, September 13, 2015

Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive who is you-er than you!

Where do we begin or start I started this blog to vent to say what could say to people around me the pain my heart was in was unbearable

We have moments minutes seconds where things slowly become normal again a new normal but normal and time flys by

Connor is a light of my life he's personality has surpassed what could ever imagine his zest for living his compassion and love for others is amazing

The kid is great at sports basketball is his favorite then soccer and baseball he has a amazing arm this might be his sport !!!

His heart is strong and we wait each year to go in everything is looking favorable but my heart hurts for the day he might not be able to the sports he loves

My kids are doing well I'm ok life is good

We all have struggles but we push through

Here's some highlights of Connors did I mention he had his wish granted by make a wish it was magic seeing him see lightening McQueen and what Disney did for my little boy never forgotten the three days of delight and wonder he truly believes they are alive and that's fine by me
He held his little lightening McQueen through all his surgeries it what gave him joy to see his eyes light up I could not hold back tears it was sureal
space mountain  the log flume are his favorites and the cars ride is the top ride of all times I think we rode it 25 times it was amazing days for a well deserved little man

Another milestone Connor Started kindergarten this year in Mrs Owens class
can I tell you how he loves school having friends learning and doing what we all take for granted just being normal
Dropping him off at school the kids where fighting over who gets to sit by Connor I almost cried
I worried everyday as he got older would he fit in would he be ok and when the time came he's beyond anything I could imagine he's thriving thriving , does the heart good

He also started playing soccer thanks to a dear friend inviting us to come play on a city team and sweet Michael was nice enough to coach the team he keeps up and runs and tells the players get out of my way lol he's so competitive it is hilarious to watch he makes a great goalie too

All and all Connor is a fighter

I promise to keep my writing up it needs to be done sometimes you just forgot and fall into the norm of life

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