The next day the 8th we received the news the surgery was off. Relief ......yes and no......I had prepared my self to face this two weeks in front of us but I knew it had to happen and then it would be over and we would be done( cross our fingers ) for a while but now it's off again... too risky they told us the success rate would be 92% instead of 98% to do it and why would we gamble with my sweet connors life. So the plan is come back in three weeks and then do it. This is were it is hard I have to get ready again for the pending surgery.....and it drains me each time I think about it. Let me explain you watch your child go through the painful procedures day after day, and hear the crying and see the pain in his eyes the looks that make your soul hurt and want to scoop up your baby and run for the exit. I tell my self he knows I love him or I wouldn't let them hurt him but it stills makes you feel like you are carrying a thousand pound weight around your heart...On top of it all you then have to give him to them on the day of surgery and watch them carry him away, its odd while they have him your arms want nothing more then your baby and you have this empty feeling within your soul you are not complete with out him. The Worse feeling in life!
So we will come back and mentally will be ready to face the roller coaster. But for now it is home for us we have a new thing....... oxygen 24-7 but it will help his color and get Connor ready for the pending surgery.
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