Love of my Life

Love of my Life

Heart Mother

One day my world came crashing down,I'll never be the same.They told me that my child was sick.I thought, "am I to blame"?I don't think I can handle this.I am really not that strong.It seemed my heart was breaking.I have loved him for so long.I will not give up on this child.I will listen to your advice.I will give my child any chance.No matter what the price.I will learn all that I need to help my child thrive.I'll even use that feeding tube.My child must survive!Will he need a lot of therapy?Will he gain the needed weight?Please God, help me do this.I will accept our fate.When the monitors beep at night, it serves as my reminder.How many parents would love that sound.Tomorrow I will be kinder.As another Angel earns his wings,I run to my child's bed.I watch him sleep for quite a while.I bend down and kiss his head.I cry for the parents whose hearts have been broken.I look to You wondering why?Oh Lord, I just can't know your matter how I try.And yet, I trust you hold his life, and guide us through each day.My mind says savor each moment he's here,but my heart begs, "PLEASE let him stay"!From pacing the surgical waiting room, to sitting by his bed.From wishing for a good nights sleep, to learning every med.From wondering, "will he be alright?", to watching him reach out his hands.With every smile my heart just melts, despite life's harsh demands.For all who see that faded line.I look to them and smile.You see my child is loved so much.I would face ANY trial.That scar I trace with my finger (It's the door to his beautiful heart).God must have known how much I'd love him (Just as He loved him from the start).A heart mom is always a heart mom.Now wise beyond her years.For those who have angels in heaven,Our hearts share in all of your tears.Every day I will try and remember,I was chosen for him (and no other).I will always embrace that beautiful day.......When I became a "Heart Mother"

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

New things

too cute he takes up the whole bed it cracks me up :)

This last week it has been hard to find time to sit and write..............I find myself slipping into being sad again and I hate it. I dont know if it is just not enough sleep or just worn out?????????????

Connor is moving like crazy his new thing is to arch his back and turn at the same time...............he is one smart cookie........................................... he likes to do it when it is time to put his o2 on for the night. I have learned that I need to wait until he is fast asleep before I even attempt to put it on him.

 We put him in his johnny jump up and he loves............................... it but it makes me nervous that it is putting to much pressure on his chest so I limit the time he spends in it :(

I just love the way he looks at  me to see if I am going to look at him and when I do he smiles at me ....................O how it makes my can I feel sad when I see his twinkling eyes :)

I also have a  new hobby its............................... baby steals ................................for those of you that haven't checked this website out.............everyday at 9am they post the item of the day and they put it on for 50% off so how can you not buy it,,,,,,,,,,,,,, it is just too tempting. when you can save so much on such cute things??????????? Okay thats what I tell myself anyway :)

All is well with the baby and my personal life well thats a different story ...............I guess when people tell you how stress can change a marriage they weren't kidding .................................. but life goes on and no ones perfect, just hope for the best and take it as it comes right????????????????


She Made Mention said...

ALL I can say... is that picture of him taking of the bed is sooo. dang. cute.

& then...

I must say I'M SORRY! Because I have the feeling that your new found addiction to babysteals is MY FAULT. Good luck with that! It is fun and well.... ADDICTING. It is retail therapy. We all NEED it, don't we?


One Happy Heart Family said...

What an adorable picture!!! He is getting so big so fast!! I wouldn't worry much about the jumparoo thing. I always got nervous to put Kylie in hers, but she did great, and it help build her leg muscles to help with crawling and walking.

I am so sorry your feeling the blues!! It's not fun!! Trust me I know!! Call me anytime or text :0) LOL I feel the blues alot lately and can't get over it!! Yes the stressful marrige part just comes with the territory :D Sorry!!!!! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
maybee that will help????? I wish I had a happy wand to make us all feel happy and just enjoy what we have, it's hard not to worry too much!! I worry so much about Kylie and she wont be a caniadate for the Fontan, I had a dream that she didn't make it through and it haunts me everyday seeming it's just around the corner!! :(

Thanks for being such a great person and being my friend!!! anytime I promise even if it's 4am.....