Love of my Life

Love of my Life

Heart Mother

One day my world came crashing down,I'll never be the same.They told me that my child was sick.I thought, "am I to blame"?I don't think I can handle this.I am really not that strong.It seemed my heart was breaking.I have loved him for so long.I will not give up on this child.I will listen to your advice.I will give my child any chance.No matter what the price.I will learn all that I need to help my child thrive.I'll even use that feeding tube.My child must survive!Will he need a lot of therapy?Will he gain the needed weight?Please God, help me do this.I will accept our fate.When the monitors beep at night, it serves as my reminder.How many parents would love that sound.Tomorrow I will be kinder.As another Angel earns his wings,I run to my child's bed.I watch him sleep for quite a while.I bend down and kiss his head.I cry for the parents whose hearts have been broken.I look to You wondering why?Oh Lord, I just can't know your matter how I try.And yet, I trust you hold his life, and guide us through each day.My mind says savor each moment he's here,but my heart begs, "PLEASE let him stay"!From pacing the surgical waiting room, to sitting by his bed.From wishing for a good nights sleep, to learning every med.From wondering, "will he be alright?", to watching him reach out his hands.With every smile my heart just melts, despite life's harsh demands.For all who see that faded line.I look to them and smile.You see my child is loved so much.I would face ANY trial.That scar I trace with my finger (It's the door to his beautiful heart).God must have known how much I'd love him (Just as He loved him from the start).A heart mom is always a heart mom.Now wise beyond her years.For those who have angels in heaven,Our hearts share in all of your tears.Every day I will try and remember,I was chosen for him (and no other).I will always embrace that beautiful day.......When I became a "Heart Mother"

Saturday, July 3, 2010

With Heavy Heart

Our little heart friend Annie has been fighting to stay here on earth. Today Amy wrote that she is declining and will not be here long .
I met Annie while Connor was in CICU and Amy and I were across from each other each day. It was just a short time to become friends but She is amazing and strong. I pray for comfort and peace for Annie and her family. My heart is so heavy and it has been hard on me and I am just a distant friend Its un thinkable to even know what they are going through at this time. Please pray with me today for them :)

I wish in this world no one had to go through this. It breaks my heart .  Its a  slap in the face that we don't have control of anything in our lives. We live with borrowed time just praying to god  to Let our babies stay.

Today I have walked around in a haze I just can not explain it. I feel that I could break down and cry at any moment. I have watched over little annie with hope that she will be home with her mom and family soon after we left the hospital and instead it has turned for the worse.

I have made up my mind I am starting my  company for my heart moms..Its going to be a work in progress but I think I can make a go at this. I just want to give them something that can be close to their heart when their babies go back to heaven

I am with heavy heart I hope that with time I can make this feeling go away its hard to function when you feel like you want to hide under the covers untill all is better

Life is short ..................................................Please kiss your kids........................Love everyone....................Pay it forward ................Pray for Connor and all the Heart babies....................I wish  CHD was not apart of our life.


Melissa said...

Good Luck with your business venture. We will continue to pray for Annie.

Becca said...

I am a heart mom that found you from Bridgers blog. I lost my little girl before my heart girl Ellie. please let me know if there is anything I can do to help with your business venture.