Love of my Life

Love of my Life

Heart Mother

One day my world came crashing down,I'll never be the same.They told me that my child was sick.I thought, "am I to blame"?I don't think I can handle this.I am really not that strong.It seemed my heart was breaking.I have loved him for so long.I will not give up on this child.I will listen to your advice.I will give my child any chance.No matter what the price.I will learn all that I need to help my child thrive.I'll even use that feeding tube.My child must survive!Will he need a lot of therapy?Will he gain the needed weight?Please God, help me do this.I will accept our fate.When the monitors beep at night, it serves as my reminder.How many parents would love that sound.Tomorrow I will be kinder.As another Angel earns his wings,I run to my child's bed.I watch him sleep for quite a while.I bend down and kiss his head.I cry for the parents whose hearts have been broken.I look to You wondering why?Oh Lord, I just can't know your matter how I try.And yet, I trust you hold his life, and guide us through each day.My mind says savor each moment he's here,but my heart begs, "PLEASE let him stay"!From pacing the surgical waiting room, to sitting by his bed.From wishing for a good nights sleep, to learning every med.From wondering, "will he be alright?", to watching him reach out his hands.With every smile my heart just melts, despite life's harsh demands.For all who see that faded line.I look to them and smile.You see my child is loved so much.I would face ANY trial.That scar I trace with my finger (It's the door to his beautiful heart).God must have known how much I'd love him (Just as He loved him from the start).A heart mom is always a heart mom.Now wise beyond her years.For those who have angels in heaven,Our hearts share in all of your tears.Every day I will try and remember,I was chosen for him (and no other).I will always embrace that beautiful day.......When I became a "Heart Mother"

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Fall our favorite time of the year

Connor has been on some high adventures this week!!!

A hair cut for all of us. We were able to get pictures of jossy getting her hair cut but Connor took all of us trying to entertain him to get him to hold still that I wasn't able to get one shot of him :0

We went to the American West Heritage Center in logan and the kids loved it....... From the pony rides and yes Connor man rode his own horse!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he is such a brave little boy, he would not take no for a answer. He kept on fussing until we put him on the horse, he rode twice. The lady running the horses said she had never had someone so young on the horse and she was so surprised that he loved every minute of it

Jossy was in heaven to get to ride a pony again.......I feel in the future we might have to buy some horses for these kids.....You should of seen their faces, they love love the animals.

Also they got to feed the goats and they were so cute but also stinky. Connor wanted to hold them, but me being a germaphobic I didn't dare. Shane made sure he got to touch them but I was right there with the hand sanitizer :)

The kids loved to launch the pumpkins and watch them splat on the ground and we walked through the spook all, it was still light so not so scary for the little ones but they liked looking at the scary spooky stuff.
 A Slippery slide, Dad got to take Connor down and he just sat there and smiled......No fear

We went through the corn maze and half way through we all had enough!!! Is it me, but I don't see the point......and the kids were just bored see the corn stalks, so off we went to the car it had been a fun day but it was time to go to bed and it was getting cold :)

The next day we went to the Pumpkin Walk in Smithfield. Every year I drive by the sign and say " we should go to that" and for the last 7 years we have missed it................Not this time we went the opening night and it was really cool.

We pulled the wagon to the park and made sure they were all buddled up. The pumpkin walk is made all up of pumpkins and the different themes they have. It was fun to see how creative they can be just with a pumpkin, they even had Monsters Inc. Connors favorite, and Princess and the Frog Jossy fave the night was a fun and wild but fun mostly.

This year is about me living life not missing out on the fun things, enjoying the amazing things we have around us.

What more can you ask for when you look at your children and they are smiling.....

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