Love of my Life

Love of my Life

Heart Mother

One day my world came crashing down,I'll never be the same.They told me that my child was sick.I thought, "am I to blame"?I don't think I can handle this.I am really not that strong.It seemed my heart was breaking.I have loved him for so long.I will not give up on this child.I will listen to your advice.I will give my child any chance.No matter what the price.I will learn all that I need to help my child thrive.I'll even use that feeding tube.My child must survive!Will he need a lot of therapy?Will he gain the needed weight?Please God, help me do this.I will accept our fate.When the monitors beep at night, it serves as my reminder.How many parents would love that sound.Tomorrow I will be kinder.As another Angel earns his wings,I run to my child's bed.I watch him sleep for quite a while.I bend down and kiss his head.I cry for the parents whose hearts have been broken.I look to You wondering why?Oh Lord, I just can't know your matter how I try.And yet, I trust you hold his life, and guide us through each day.My mind says savor each moment he's here,but my heart begs, "PLEASE let him stay"!From pacing the surgical waiting room, to sitting by his bed.From wishing for a good nights sleep, to learning every med.From wondering, "will he be alright?", to watching him reach out his hands.With every smile my heart just melts, despite life's harsh demands.For all who see that faded line.I look to them and smile.You see my child is loved so much.I would face ANY trial.That scar I trace with my finger (It's the door to his beautiful heart).God must have known how much I'd love him (Just as He loved him from the start).A heart mom is always a heart mom.Now wise beyond her years.For those who have angels in heaven,Our hearts share in all of your tears.Every day I will try and remember,I was chosen for him (and no other).I will always embrace that beautiful day.......When I became a "Heart Mother"

Monday, January 31, 2011

Wild desire

I have this wild desire to do something for all the heart babies, Something that makes a difference, Something to make their lives better, A difference in the world.

My job is just that a job I do what I can to be the best but lets face it when I'm dead and gone no ones going to say Wow that flight attendant was the best at serving me that drink she will be missed??? Don't get me wrong but its not the World changing job or does anything for the soul, It helps me pay some of Connors medical bills and makes me feel like I am helping my husband and I stay a float.

I want to make sure that some young mother does not feel her whole world come crashing down around her. I want to be there to say yes this sucks but there is hope and you will be all right. I never heard those words just this is what he has and this is what is to be done. I have deep hurt and pain that haunts me and I sometimes do not how to make it go away.

Here is my Idea I want my industry to help me spread the word about CHD .....Why not they do breast awareness month why not Heart Month are women's breast more important then our Future our children???? I think not !!!!~

Just think if all my passengers ask why are you wearing that heart pin what does CHD mean how the word can spread. and if we could get all the employees to pay 2-3 dollars for the pin that 100% goes to the research of CHD how much we could raise for our heart babies.

I work for Sky west and they are contracted with 4 major airlines. Millions of people could be made aware and how easy that would be and maybe just maybe it would make a difference to a mother or child because they knew what CHD was.

I asked once but this time I am going in with guns blazing what do I have to loose ??????

I have a friend that makes glass jewelery and I want him to make red glass blown hearts for necklaces and pins something that stands out that makes people say where did you get that I have a necklace that he made me and every time I where it I get asked all day long where I got it so wish me luck

I need this I need some sense of balance of the world that it is possible to make a difference and if I fail then at least I know I tried

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