Why do I work

Connor has had a rough winter. No matter what I do it seems he keeps on getting sick, partly because his older sister keeps on coming home sick...........

So this week my little man came down with a high fever ................... my favorite doctor got a text from me at 2am asking for his help
 I was afraid that it was a infection or something worse.

Con was checked out and nothing was found..... no runny...... nose .......no ear problems .........no sore throat. but the fever continued

after all night without sleep I put him in the tub and I lifted him up he turned grey my heart sank I started shaking so hard that I could not dial my phone after the third time the call went through. I sat there rocking my baby that had blue lips, finger and toes.
 I called our doctor to come and check him out again it only lasted for a minute or two but I stood there holding my baby for 30 minutes just crying thinking something is really wrong.

Again the doctor checked him out and nothing was found.....

Three days went by and connor was doing much better no fever and acting a little tried but nothing too bad. I had to go to work and I hate leaving him it was a short trip but with him being sick and all I wanted to stay but thought we were through the worst???

I left and started work at 4pm  around 8pm I called the babysitter she said all was well but Connor looked a little blue to her, I asked her to hook him up to his stat machine and let me know I had to go. She texted me and told me that he was at 80 I asked her to call the doctor if he dropped any lower then that and I left on my flight not really bothered just thinking he was getting late and at night his stats drop a little.

When I landed and all the passengers were off I turned on my phone and the text messages started coming in...................
 not from my babysitter but from my doctor stating that he had been called because Connors sats had dropped down to 74 and stayed there. He also said that he was a little blue when he got to my home.

 My heart sank, he continued to say that he was fine for now that they had hooked him to the sat for the night he had called down to primary childrens and they said if he drops lower that we would need to put him on oxygen and get him down to primarys.

I am in new mexico without any way home and the tears started and I could not stop them I walked through the airport calling my doctor asking him to fill me in I started shaking all I could think of is why. Why when I could not be there with him.

And I asked myself why do I work

All through the night I called every 15 minutes for a update not being able to sleep, In the middle of the night he started to pick up to be around 81 then as high as 83. I called Primary children's first thing in the morning to get Connor in to see his cardiologist and make sure he wasn't having more complications then we thought the doctor felt that he was fine to wait and be brought down the next day

I took Connor down to Primary's and they checked his x-ray and EKG and his Sats and the doctor felt that they xray showed a little bit of fluff in his lungs and ordered a Echo, My little man did so well he laid on the bed and did not move a muscle just watched his shrek movie and held my hand. So grown up for a little boy no meds were given to keep him calm.

After all the test nothing was found thank heavens and his heart looked great ( knock on wood)

After a long day down at the hospital and the last couple of days we have had all we ask for is rest and to be well.

I feel like a truck has run over me and then backed up and ran me over again

I thank our guardian Angel for watching over my sweet little boy and making sure he was alright while I was gone

Connor still looks pale but not blue and Ill take that any day <3