Love of my Life

Love of my Life

Heart Mother

One day my world came crashing down,I'll never be the same.They told me that my child was sick.I thought, "am I to blame"?I don't think I can handle this.I am really not that strong.It seemed my heart was breaking.I have loved him for so long.I will not give up on this child.I will listen to your advice.I will give my child any chance.No matter what the price.I will learn all that I need to help my child thrive.I'll even use that feeding tube.My child must survive!Will he need a lot of therapy?Will he gain the needed weight?Please God, help me do this.I will accept our fate.When the monitors beep at night, it serves as my reminder.How many parents would love that sound.Tomorrow I will be kinder.As another Angel earns his wings,I run to my child's bed.I watch him sleep for quite a while.I bend down and kiss his head.I cry for the parents whose hearts have been broken.I look to You wondering why?Oh Lord, I just can't know your matter how I try.And yet, I trust you hold his life, and guide us through each day.My mind says savor each moment he's here,but my heart begs, "PLEASE let him stay"!From pacing the surgical waiting room, to sitting by his bed.From wishing for a good nights sleep, to learning every med.From wondering, "will he be alright?", to watching him reach out his hands.With every smile my heart just melts, despite life's harsh demands.For all who see that faded line.I look to them and smile.You see my child is loved so much.I would face ANY trial.That scar I trace with my finger (It's the door to his beautiful heart).God must have known how much I'd love him (Just as He loved him from the start).A heart mom is always a heart mom.Now wise beyond her years.For those who have angels in heaven,Our hearts share in all of your tears.Every day I will try and remember,I was chosen for him (and no other).I will always embrace that beautiful day.......When I became a "Heart Mother"

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Little Sun and little Fun

It all started with my husband picking up overtime at his work and being that he was going to be gone for 4 almost 5 days I developed a plan..............Why stay home when there are so many places to see!!!!!!!

My next to oldest was finishing her Cheer camp and we were headed down to see her cheer!! She was fantastic in the front line I know she is a beautiful and talented dancer but I forgot what a great she was with her tumbling. The girls Whitt and Joss loved it Connor on the other hand wanted to run up the stairs and jump off where ever he could climb so when you see the pictures you will notice his mood for the moment was not good .............

I thought about jumping on the plane that night but the hotel was full.......We could stay at the Disney hotel for only 300 plus for the night but I thought better of it .......

We left the next day on our Disney land journey and barely made it on the flight, I never give enough time with all the bag checking and security with the kids etc, you would think with my job I would know better but that would be a big fat nope.......

After the flight and the car rental we skipped the hotel and went straight to the park. At this time I think I was more excited then the kids. Disney is a enchanted place for me and I wanted to share it with my kids my mom took us so many times and I have the best childhood memories there being we lived in California and everyone came to visit wanted to go so we went a lot.

We went straight to the tea cups the best part of the park and Connor LOVED IT. He loved it so so much when it came time to leave he screamed bloody murder !!!!

Next was Alice and Wonderland ride and so on, Jossy had the chance to meet Tinkerbell I thought that she would be scared but o no she went right up to them and hugged them and sat right down with them she is such a sweet girl her face was all lit up when she met them.

We wanted to meet the other princesses too but each one was about an 1 and half so Tink was the only one we met ..........The others will be met next time for sure.....maybe once each visit

Connor loved the pirates ride and the haunted house

I loved to watch their faces on the rides and I have never seen Connor so calm and quiet he just sat on my lap and watched everything in complete peace

We also got to park hop and went to California Adventure which none of us had gone before so it was really neat to see all that was there.

My sweet girl Nady bought the babies their balloons and they were so happy to have them.

Connor and Joss loved the Monster inc ride and even got to meet Sully out side Connor loved him and was not even afraid to be with him and joss did too.

My highlight was the Tower of Terror I went with my little Whit and her and I had a blast

We so need to do this more

Best of all we saw the Wonder of Color show at closing and all I can say is WOW it is so so beautiful

When we got to the room and unpacked the kids were fast asleep and did not move all night

We were to go home the next day but the flight filled up so I said we are just going to have so more fun today......We went back to Disney Downtown and went shopping. The stores there are so adorable and the kids loved the Roxy store and SO did I ,,,,,,,,,Its official I have my Hawaiian sun dresses so now we can go watch out Hawaii here we come ( Ill have to have Shane pick up another 4 day so we can run away again)

Then it was off to the beach and the weather was OK just at the end was it Little cold so we packed it in

The beach was this little cove called little Corona and it was really neat not allot of people and a lot of shells which Whitt loves to collect and Connor would not keep out of the waves he would run back in as soon as we would pull him out crazy little man, Joss liked to build sand castles and kept out of the water she didn't like it chasing her up the beach she would scream every time the waves would come in a funny sight to see !!!

our little adventure came to an end and we packed out of room and returned our cool mini van and barely made it on the flight. Yes we were the last 4 to make it on and thank heavens because the next flight wasn't until 1 and that was 4 hours away

When we got home it was nice to be back but I promise we have another adventure again I'm thinking San Diego and the Zoo or just the beach again

The nicest thing about this trip was there wasn't any fighting or negativity just plain old fun and the kids and I did it all alone no one to tell us when or how and where to go we just did what we all wanted. I always have waited for my husband to come with and this time lesson learned it is just easier to go alone and enjoy the time away

1 comment:

Jenna said...

HI Precious and special Connor
My name is Jenna and I came across your site. U are a courageous, strong and determined fighter. U are a brave warrior, smilen champ, and an inspirational hero. I am so happy you enjoyed your trip. U will be in my thoughts and prayers. I was born with a rare life threatening disease, and I love it when others sign my guestbook.