Love of my Life

Love of my Life

Heart Mother

One day my world came crashing down,I'll never be the same.They told me that my child was sick.I thought, "am I to blame"?I don't think I can handle this.I am really not that strong.It seemed my heart was breaking.I have loved him for so long.I will not give up on this child.I will listen to your advice.I will give my child any chance.No matter what the price.I will learn all that I need to help my child thrive.I'll even use that feeding tube.My child must survive!Will he need a lot of therapy?Will he gain the needed weight?Please God, help me do this.I will accept our fate.When the monitors beep at night, it serves as my reminder.How many parents would love that sound.Tomorrow I will be kinder.As another Angel earns his wings,I run to my child's bed.I watch him sleep for quite a while.I bend down and kiss his head.I cry for the parents whose hearts have been broken.I look to You wondering why?Oh Lord, I just can't know your matter how I try.And yet, I trust you hold his life, and guide us through each day.My mind says savor each moment he's here,but my heart begs, "PLEASE let him stay"!From pacing the surgical waiting room, to sitting by his bed.From wishing for a good nights sleep, to learning every med.From wondering, "will he be alright?", to watching him reach out his hands.With every smile my heart just melts, despite life's harsh demands.For all who see that faded line.I look to them and smile.You see my child is loved so much.I would face ANY trial.That scar I trace with my finger (It's the door to his beautiful heart).God must have known how much I'd love him (Just as He loved him from the start).A heart mom is always a heart mom.Now wise beyond her years.For those who have angels in heaven,Our hearts share in all of your tears.Every day I will try and remember,I was chosen for him (and no other).I will always embrace that beautiful day.......When I became a "Heart Mother"

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

O Connor the places you will go......

We have been really busy with all the holiday fun and we threw in a doctors appointment just for the hell of it!!!!

Connor went in to check on his heart on the 26th and he is doing great!!! 50% for weight and 90% in height and he weight is at 30 lbs and the next appointment will be in late spring but the sad part of it this  will be his pre op appointment so here comes the cath and echo & such to get him on the schedule for the fontane in the early summer!!!!

We also addressed the lack of speaking and the reason he will not eat solids which all turns out to be a problem when babies spend so much time in the house on the hill so here comes some therapy to help him out!!! Wish us Luck he is so so spunky I don't imagine much from this maybe they have some tricks up their sleeves

The next 6 months will be our play time and if I had the money we would be in Hawaii for most of it !!! So wish me luck with lottery!

After that I had planned a Hallows eve birthday/ Blessing party

 It is my birthday and the babies Joss and Connor never received their blessing so we thought if the family is coming let us do it together.

It was a blast the night before me and my 18 year old daughter ( which seems funny since I am only turning 21 this year, I don't know how I have a 18 year old!!! ) spent the day cooking all the treats!

 Did I mention I love Halloween it has been such a wonderful thing for me and my children, I always have a big party and have plenty of sweets to eat !!!

And we went a little over board on the decor but what the hell I have nothing else to do!

The night was fun and we had 26 people at the house to enjoy the music, food & Fun what more does anyone need for a fantastic birthday party

Connor loved trick or treating and Jossy was right in the spirit this year. I can not wait for Christmas she is already talking about Santa etc so it is magical for her and I

Whittney was Corline which is her favorite movie! Since she is so grown up she took off with her friend for the night and let me with all the trick or treats .....

My house had lines to it ! Its a small town and our neighborhood gets hit hard there were people non stop until about 9 and that was good since I bought 7 big bags of candy for Sam's club!!! Can you believe that is how many kids we got at our house it was fun to see all the kids they are so so happy to get their treats!!!

now that October is over we are gearing up for the Thanksgiving week which will be with my family thank heavens !!!!

So So thankful for my healthy little boy but I don't want the days to go by too fast Summer will be here way to soon and I don't know how I am going to hand him over without my heart sinking!!!

Until then I will kiss him more and hug him a little longer!!!!!

1 comment:

Angee and Thom said...

Those are some AMAZING STATS Conner! Enjoy the next 6 months.I wished we lived closer your Halloween looks so fun!