Love of my Life

Love of my Life

Heart Mother

One day my world came crashing down,I'll never be the same.They told me that my child was sick.I thought, "am I to blame"?I don't think I can handle this.I am really not that strong.It seemed my heart was breaking.I have loved him for so long.I will not give up on this child.I will listen to your advice.I will give my child any chance.No matter what the price.I will learn all that I need to help my child thrive.I'll even use that feeding tube.My child must survive!Will he need a lot of therapy?Will he gain the needed weight?Please God, help me do this.I will accept our fate.When the monitors beep at night, it serves as my reminder.How many parents would love that sound.Tomorrow I will be kinder.As another Angel earns his wings,I run to my child's bed.I watch him sleep for quite a while.I bend down and kiss his head.I cry for the parents whose hearts have been broken.I look to You wondering why?Oh Lord, I just can't know your ways....no matter how I try.And yet, I trust you hold his life, and guide us through each day.My mind says savor each moment he's here,but my heart begs, "PLEASE let him stay"!From pacing the surgical waiting room, to sitting by his bed.From wishing for a good nights sleep, to learning every med.From wondering, "will he be alright?", to watching him reach out his hands.With every smile my heart just melts, despite life's harsh demands.For all who see that faded line.I look to them and smile.You see my child is loved so much.I would face ANY trial.That scar I trace with my finger (It's the door to his beautiful heart).God must have known how much I'd love him (Just as He loved him from the start).A heart mom is always a heart mom.Now wise beyond her years.For those who have angels in heaven,Our hearts share in all of your tears.Every day I will try and remember,I was chosen for him (and no other).I will always embrace that beautiful day.......When I became a "Heart Mother"

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Snow, Cookies and Adventures

There are a few things that Connor LOVES (besides his mommy)

First is Cookies, We have battled with him eating solids but if there is a cookie no problem. he will eat it up !!?

Second Snow,  Loves loves to play in the snow no matter how cold he gets he will stay outside and play!

Third Going places , Just gettng in the car and going is great! He is just like me he loves an adventure!!

So the last couple of days we had it all
Early on Sunday we woke to the first snow fall  and Connor would not take no for a answer!!!
 so I  pulled out all the snow clothes, layered and layered and tried to keep him in his snow clothes before he would rip them all off ! All he wanted is to go outside and see the white stuff!!!

Connor could not get enough of it! He ran around stomping in every puddle and trying to take his gloves off to get the snow !

 And of course the Blue Bird had to come out for them to take a ride and they both had to be in it

This blue bird has been with me for the last 12 years and still going strong on many occassions shane has tried to throw it out and I have won everytime to keep it!!! The kids love the blue bird and I must say so do I




After the playing I took him inside to get warm, Connor likes to show you what he wants he grabs your finger and pulls, directs you where he wants you. Connor took me  straight to the big cabinet which holds the good stuff ..............Yep the Cookies !!!
Oreos are his favorite and I keep them stocked at all times!



On to the Disney adventure thanks to the most wonderful group Hope Kids we were able to attend Disney On Ice !!!! Connor was so so excited to leave and get in the car!

The kids loved it and to our surprise we had front row seats WOW !!!!

I can not say how thankful I am to CR and Amy for all you do for my children you have been a light in our world something for the kids to look forward to every month !


We all are good and waiting to see what our next week will hold for us

 O Connor the places we will go!!

 Love Love this boy with all my heart <3

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