Love of my Life

Love of my Life

Heart Mother

One day my world came crashing down,I'll never be the same.They told me that my child was sick.I thought, "am I to blame"?I don't think I can handle this.I am really not that strong.It seemed my heart was breaking.I have loved him for so long.I will not give up on this child.I will listen to your advice.I will give my child any chance.No matter what the price.I will learn all that I need to help my child thrive.I'll even use that feeding tube.My child must survive!Will he need a lot of therapy?Will he gain the needed weight?Please God, help me do this.I will accept our fate.When the monitors beep at night, it serves as my reminder.How many parents would love that sound.Tomorrow I will be kinder.As another Angel earns his wings,I run to my child's bed.I watch him sleep for quite a while.I bend down and kiss his head.I cry for the parents whose hearts have been broken.I look to You wondering why?Oh Lord, I just can't know your matter how I try.And yet, I trust you hold his life, and guide us through each day.My mind says savor each moment he's here,but my heart begs, "PLEASE let him stay"!From pacing the surgical waiting room, to sitting by his bed.From wishing for a good nights sleep, to learning every med.From wondering, "will he be alright?", to watching him reach out his hands.With every smile my heart just melts, despite life's harsh demands.For all who see that faded line.I look to them and smile.You see my child is loved so much.I would face ANY trial.That scar I trace with my finger (It's the door to his beautiful heart).God must have known how much I'd love him (Just as He loved him from the start).A heart mom is always a heart mom.Now wise beyond her years.For those who have angels in heaven,Our hearts share in all of your tears.Every day I will try and remember,I was chosen for him (and no other).I will always embrace that beautiful day.......When I became a "Heart Mother"

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

When Life hands you a chance.....Take it

I know it is CHD Awareness and I should be working how to solve world peace !!!!

But this last week I was taught something its called


It makes you say what can I do to make it better for someone else


Last Saturday I did the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, I attended my friends little 2 year old boys funeral !
His name is Dawson and he has the most beautiful chocolate brown eyes and smile to light up the world!!!
I didnt think I could do it going to the funeral let alone the viewing but shane said we need to show them how much we care and he was right!!!!

My heart was so heavy for their loss. I don't know if it is we live on that delicate line of life with my baby that I just weep when it comes to children, I needed to do something to heal I couldn't sleep or eat I thought about the family and the pain of not having the little pitter patter in your house ( my very favorite noise)what could I do no matter how small what is it!!

I saw an chance to pay it forward and I have run with it

I have spent the day calling in to restaurants to have them donate meals , My plan no cooking for a month or so

Today I am happy to say no one refused us!!!!

I believe in KARMA and I hope karma is watching will spread its wings on Connor this summer

SO tomorrow I will spread the word of CHD but today it did my soul good

P.s I also have one more thing up my sleeve for them so so excited if this works out yippee!!!

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